Liberation 69852

i love the idea of being in a relationship with you.
you make me laugh out loud. which VERY few girls do.
and i love that we don't get annoyed at each other, we just call each other mean names, and then smile.
i love that you feel the same way as me, and everything's so exciting at the moment
and i know you'll read this, and wonder if it's about you. cus you told me that you do that :)
i feel like i have to say it somewhere, i'm so happy :)

Liberation 69851

sometimes I wonder you just want me for sex.

It cruches me heart so bad.
I want someone who loves me.

Liberation 69850

I stopped because you told me to. I'm trying to be really funny too. Some people say don't underestimate me, but I feel like I've been overestimated.

Liberation 69849

I took E two days ago, for the first time. It was beautiful.

I walked through the dinosaur park in the zoo, and the sun beating down on me felt like heaven. Everything was shimmering and lovely and the statues of dinosaurs with the paint chipped off them looming up out of the trees looked epic. There were children all around, laughing and playing on the rocks and in the stream. I felt like I was looking at utopia.

Then we climbed up some crazy hill through long golden grass and when we got to the top we had a beautiful view of the city skyline. I would have admired it any day but that day it was almost too gorgeous to take in.

We layed in the grass, me and the person I'm in love with. I ran my fingers through his hair and nothing has felt so wonderful to me before. I told him all my secrets because I felt like it would be okay, because everything felt okay right then. But you know, it really was okay. He held me and told me I was beautiful and perfect and that he wanted a future with me. He told me he loved me and everything shined.

I love him more than I've loved anybody. I've never done hard drugs but I told him I wanted to have the experience and he made it happen for me. He made sure the pills were trustworthy and he kept me in a safe environment and made sure I drank enough water, and he followed me around smiling when I was running all over the place like crazy, talking to him about the beauty of the slime pooling in the river and the miracle of the bumblebees in the flowers.

Boys have told me they've loved me before and I've never believed them. I believe that he loves me. Knowing that was beautiful then, but it's still beautiful now.

Ecstacy is wonderful if you are wise in its usage, but it is just a little bit of icing on the awesome cake that is my life right now. Things are finally starting to turn around for me, after so many years of depression and loneliness.

Love. :)

I want to be the best person I can be, for him and for the world. I want to feel like I deserve this happiness. And as marvelous as E is, if I had to pick between a day on it and a day with him, I wouldn't even have to think about turning it down.

Liberation 69848

You're not unlovable. I promise.

Liberation 69847

I thought it was weird when you suddenly started texting me but now i realize its only because you heard i found someone else.

Liberation 69846

Okay, seriously
are mormon boys MADE to be so uniqely lovely as a way of luring people into their religion?

this is ridiculous. two sweetest/funniest boys i've ever met have been mormons. WUT

Liberation 69844

nothing describes how i feel about my dad more then the song 'confessions of a broken heart' by lindsay lohan.

Liberation 69843

im hanging out with them tomarrow again.
i didnt tell because i know how nervous it makes you.
dont worry, if anything happens i told manda, she knows where i am.

Liberation 69842

I lied. I promised that if I ever needed help with this depression I would come to you, but I cant. I wont. I dont want to. Its nothing to do with you. Youre great, and Im so thankful I have you, thank you for helping me to the extent you have, but I dont want therapy. I love you more than you can imagine.
Now, when I think of how I lied, I think of how when you promised you'd never leave me, you promised, just like I did. I think about it alot. I dont think I could handle you walking out on me. I made you promise me, just like you made me promise you...and I lied, so how can I be sure you didnt. I hope you didnt. Just please dont abandon me. I love you and the family, my family, and I dont know what I'd do if you guys left.
Damn abandonment issues.