|I really want my boyfriend to decide to lose weight and get healthier. He was overweight when we first started dating but not a crazy amount, I was still totally into his body. He started gaining weight really fast after we first got together, and within a year he had gained a whole bunch. I felt myself growing less and less attracted to him but whenever I brought up the idea of eating healthier or exercising he'd become angry and resistant. I told him I'd be super attracted to him if he lost a bit of weight and he was outraged I'd have the nerve to say that. We were thinking of getting married and having kids at that time and I told him I was worried of him having a heart attack at 45 or something if things went on like this and how I didn't want to be a young widow or raise kids alone, and he told me that was a stupid thing to worry about. But is it really that stupid? I believed him, I felt shallow and mean for caring about his weight, and I felt so guilty for not feeling as attracted to him even though I loved him, so I just never brought it up again. |
Well that was a huge mistake. It's been 5 years now and I'm pretty sure he's gained over 100 lbs. He's physically unrecognizable from the person I first started dating and he's just as bitter and resentful about the idea of being healthier. And I'm just not happy.
It's really sad because although he acts like he doesn't care that he's fat, I know inwardly he's really ashamed of it and wishes he could change, but he can't because he won't even acknowledge there is a problem. He was teased for being overweight as a kid so he feels like I'm attacking him whenever I even remotely bring it up. He is just not willing to talk to me or anyone about his issues.
So I'm going to stop feeling guilty for not feeling attracted to him. I still love him, but I have to break up with him soon if he has decided to never change. I can't help who I'm attracted to. For me personally, it just really turns me off how he doesn't care at all about his body. How can I be turned on by someone after watching them struggle for so long to tie their shoes cause they can't even reach them over their stomach? How can I be turned on sitting beside him when he can't even breathe normally without making noises? Maybe other people are turned on by that kind of thing but I'm just NOT, and he needs to find one of those people now I guess.